All Grown Up

My darling jellypuffs, I have been absent again, but I think I have had cause to be with moving house and not having internet for a few days etc.  But I am now settled into my LOVELY flat with my gorgeous boyfriend and all is going very well!  I'm just next to the town centre and five minutes from the beach (sadly it's pebbly, this is England after all!) and it's been beautifully sunny and warm.  I'm feeling very house-wifey, cleaning and tidying and organising ( I love organising, quite ocd about it), having people over to visit, generally loving my boy and revelling in having him there every morning and every night.  It's making me so happy!  So it took us three days to settle in and Ben went back to work on Tuesday, I used that day as my fresh start.  I got scared that if I didn't use this change of scenery, change of lifestyle to kick start me, then it would never happen.  As you'll know, weight loss has pretty much been on the back-burner since Christmas and I've only last 2lbs in the past couple of months.  I have thoroughly had enough of that!  Sadly I can't afford a gym membership at the moment and I'm far too wobbly to run outside, but I've got exercise dvds and a stepper and weights in the flat and I've been doing 30-45 minutes a day which has really made me feel good.  Not only because of endorphins, but because I'm actually doing it!  And food has been miles better, I'm back to tracking my MFP and not just mindlessly eating sugary food all day.  Just simply stopping and thinking before eating is really getting my mind back in the right place.  When I weighed in on Tuesday morning I was 1lb up from my lowest, at 14st12lbs (208lbs) and fingers crossed there'll be a smaller number in place of it when I weigh in next Tuesday - maybe that will be my new official weigh in day.  We'll see.  Anyway, wish me luck as I persevere through the difficult first weeks of starting again.  Any tips would be great.  And I leave you some pictures, one of me at my heaviest and one of me a couple of days ago at a gig with my best friend L.
Love you all - I've been reading, can't seem to comment at the moment, error page comes up - any advice?? x

Slipping and Sliding

Ah, crap!  I've been slacking again.  Just a quickie to whet your appetite and then I will be back with a vengeance.  Firstly, I finally made it to the 40lb lost mark!  Woo!!  But, pathetic really, I've lost 2lbs in 2 months.  All is set to change though...

Drumroll please....

I'm moving in with my boyfriend - of three months - next week!  Call me a crazy loony but it has become the best option.  I currently live with my parents and commute the two hours to uni once a week.  They've decided to move to somewhere where I'd need a car to live - I can't drive.  Ben and I were thinking about moving in together in September anyway, so now it's now!!  I'm madly excited.  I know it's pretty quick, but when you know someone's right, you just know.

So what does this move mean for my weight loss...Well - for the past couple of months, since I moved back from living at uni, I've felt like I'm in limbo, half living at mine and half at his, no real routine, I couldn't plan meals and would often have to eat what was there rather than something I would have chosen.  Also in this time I got my beast of a fill which I've decided is probably slightly too tight because I really have been relying on sliders to give me energy and to comfort me when I feel upset that I can't eat anything.  So I'm going to get a little unfill - just 0.25 - 0.5ml.  See if that helps.  Living in the new flat (which is lovely and cosy and right by the town centre and the sea!), I'll finally be able to settle in one place, plan all my meals, do all my own shopping, and get back on track.  I'm desperate to.

I'm looking forward to getting back into some kind of blog reading regimen, once internet's all set up in the flat I'll be reading and commenting and blogging to the max!  Hope you haven't all got bored of me.  Thinking of you all.  Lots of love x

My Face

Just thought I'd include a little recent picture of me for all of you.  Just so you remember who's thinking of you all!  

So I finally exercised today.  I know I said I was going to get back to the gym about 5 days ago, but that hasn't happened.  I think I'm reluctant because I can't really afford to go to the gym, but it's my workout comfort zone (compared to at home) so I feel I ought to go back there.  But I did about half an hour of step aerobics and weights today which MFP told me burned about 330 calories so I'm happy with that as a start.

Eating hasn't been great, still struggling with major sugar addiction, though I'm rarely hungry and if I'm really really slow with tiny bites I can eat good, nutritious food (like roast chicken and veggies for lunch today), I got some nachos the other day and after about 3 (far too large) bites, it was slime city, thought I wasn't going to make it to the bathroom.  I was stupid because after the first PB episode, I thought I'd be ok to try eat some more nachos, or at least just the cheese and guacamole etc.  Stupid idea - 2 more slime and pb episodes followed and I felt thoroughly sorry for myself the rest of the day.  

I'm still not sure if I'm a little bit too tight, it's getting to the point where I'm scared of food, except obviously what I know will go down, which is mostly Haribo sweets and chocolate.  Damn sugar.  

So because of all this, I'm still sitting frustrated at 14st12lbs (208lbs), hence the motivation to workout today.  Would really love to see some of your daily food diaries to get a reminder of the sort of thing bandsters eat.  Love x