Friday 12 October 2012

Times of Strife

Darling ones,

I know I have been MIA - been really struggling with shitty family situation - my sister being responsible for the care of her daughter, my beautiful 5 month old niece, Betty - whilst drinking and taking hard drugs.  Totally unbearable and I am furious and disgusted at my sister's behaviour.  I just want to take my niece and give her the loving environment she deserves.

I have been seriously tight the last few weeks and have been surviving on sliders mostly, which is just crap and makes me feel crap.  My bandiversary is on Monday and although I won't have quite reached halfway, my weight had gone back up to over 200lbs and I've managed to lose 3lbs getting me back to my lowest of 197lbs.  Maybe I can make that 196lbs by Monday to at least have a new low to celebrate a year banded.

I haven't done any exercise in a LONG TIME!  I feel like I'm in limbo because we're living with Ben's parents and waiting to find our own place.  Ideally we'll be moving in 3-4 weeks if we manage to find somewhere.  I haven't wanted to blog because I feel like such a failure.  Like I'm not trying hard enough and complaining all the time.  I was up to date with everyone's blogs until about a week ago when I just ran out of time - so much reading to do for uni - but from today I'll be back on track reading and do my best to comment when I can.  If you think of it, send some good vibes my way.  Thinking of you all.

LOVE xxx

7 comments:

  1. Oh, love, I feel your pain. I am SO sorry about this situation with your sister - that is so devastating. I hope a solution is found soon. As for being MIA, welcome to the club with me!! I am back too, and am reading, commenting and posting to get my head back in the game. Sending you much love and big hugs, and I hope all is improving. XO

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please, please, please DO NOT feel like a failure. The fact that you have been to maintain the large majority of your weight loss during your times of stress is a success on its own. Pre-band many of us would use these kinds of circumstances as an excuse to completly abandon ourselves. Sometimes life gets in the way of our focus but the beauty of the band is that it gives us a safety net that doesn't let stress ruin us the way it would pre-band. Do the best you can each day, but accept that somedays your best effort will just okay and don't linger on that. Also don't discount what you have done thus far -- there isn't a time clock ticking. At my 1 bandiversary, I had lost 45lbs and had been stalled for 4mos. Now I am 2.5 yrs out and down 110lbs -- it's never to late to get your focus back. I am sorry you are having to deal with such a crap family situation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad you posted today... Helps me know I'm not alone. No superstar here slow and steady!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Half way would have been incredible but only merely the icing on the cake to an amazingly successful achievement you will have for the rest of your life. In the real world, family always trumps weight loss. Hoping things work out with your sister and niece. She is lucky to have a family that cares and is willing to do so much. Never ever feel like a failure for putting them first.

    Much love xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. You have just stalled...no biggy. You also have a lot going on. Cut yourself some slack, girlie. Just take it one day at a time and you will do well!

    ReplyDelete
  6. All my prayers coming your way...hang in there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just keep plugging along! I for one know how school and family life can get in the way and take priority for a while. But you are amazing so chin up!

    ReplyDelete