Fucking fuck fuck fuck. My fucking surgery date may well have been fucking pushed back due the fucking ineptitude of my GP practice and my stupid fucking mental health problems. Fuck's sake.
Basically got a call from the nurse today saying that because of the information only just received and processed from my GP (I basically have 2, home and uni) relating to my depression and 3 trips this year to see them about suicidal feelings - including a suicide attempt in January (not sure if I should share that or not...), that I have to see a psychiatrist before I can have surgery. Apparently the psychoanalyst who I've been seeing for nearly 18 months won't do. To see a psychiatrist on the NHS here could take up to 3 months, I can't wait that long. Surgery HAS to be this Saturday as planned. Right now I'm planning to see a private psychiatrist tomorrow, costing me £600!!!!! I don't have that kind of money. Mum has offered to put it on her nearly empty credit card, but even then, it's not certain that I will be able to have surgery in time - depending on what the surgeon thinks about the outcome (that's even if he accepts a private psychiatrist over an NHS one) - AND - I don't know what outcome of the appointment would mean I can or cannot have surgery. They haven't told me if surgery will be completely cancelled if I get a certain diagnosis or not.
THIS IS TOO HARD, I CAN'T COPE WITH THIS. I'm terrified that it's all going to go wrong and I'll never be able to have surgery and I'll be this way forever.
Breathe! Everything will be fine, I promise. Even if it gets pushed back it won't be the end of the world, I know it seems like the "perfect" time, but you know what they say, "Man plans, God laughs."
ReplyDeleteIt WILL happen!
Try to remember someone other than you has a big plan for you...and if not this Saturday then believe there is a reason for that. It WILL happen. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI hope things work out as planned... But sometimes plans fall apart so better things can happen.
ReplyDeletePeace..........just breathe.......it's okay............Someone bigger than you is in charge and has sifted all this through his fingers..........relax.....this WILL happen for you.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe everything happens for a reason. You can handle this you are stronger than you know and compared to lots of things in life that can and will happen this is a very small hick-up. Take a breath, relax and realize that you can and will push on and that the surgery will happen and you will make it work even if you have to wait a little longer.
ReplyDeleteDeep breaths...like some of the others said, this will happen in due time - it just might not be in the timeframe you would like it to happen. I am a believer that things happen the way they were meant to and you will be able to handle this! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteOk so if it does not happen, then it will eventually. This is not you choosing to forgo the band!!! It is simply a bump in the road, trust me there will be many, you need to handle this one well! So that the others will seem like a piece of cake!
ReplyDeleteThe psych eval is very very important. A step that should not be avoided even when you have not had the issues you have had.
Good luck we are here for you!
It will all work out ... I promise. I also had delays (months worth) and it is a very, very trying time but it will all be worth it *when* the surgery happens. Which it will ... be good to yourself.
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) It will be OK. Work with your surgeon's office to see exactly what they need from you. It'll happen. Just breathe.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry this is happening. Sometimes we don't understand why but have faith it will all work out. Sending u a big hug!
ReplyDeleteEverything will work out like it's supposed to even if it doesn't happen when you thought it would. I know it's disappointing though!
ReplyDeleteBabe i beloeve everything happens for a reason. Dont stress too much. Im sure it will all work out in the end. I think it's really bad that the administrative side of things has stuffed you around but hun everything will fall into place. Xoxoxox keep your head up *hugs*
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