Today was the first day of my 2 week pre-op diet. I can't believe that this time in 2 weeks, I will be banded. It feels like someone else's story, I can't believe all this is actually happening. Today was ok, though I had quite long gaps between eating so I got quite hungry before dinner. I live in a shared flat of 8 on campus and sadly my anxiety disorder has reared its awful head and is causing me a lot of problems when it comes to going into the kitchen. I know logically that my flatmates are just people, just like me, that they won't hate me or hurt me, but I become paralysed and I can't seem to force myself to just go to the kitchen and make food. If I can't overcome it, it's really going to get in the way of my healthy eating. I have to get a handle on it.
Today was my official starting weight weigh in. It is the highest number I have ever seen on the scale, but at least it will never be there again. It's only down from now on. I weighed in at:
17st9lbs (247lbs)!
Oh dear oh dear. I'm feeling very nervous and small when I think about the task in front of me. But we all adapt don't we. Hopefully the next two weeks will whoosh by and before I know it, I'll be out of surgery and thinner than I am right now. I'll get around to taking some 'before' pics soon. x
You will do wonderful! We are all much stronger than we ever think that we are. I hope things get better for you with your housing situation/roommates. Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine hun seriously!! Don't worry about what everyone will think of you - you're on your way to becoming a new and more healthier you! Don't worry about your starting weight - because it definitely won't stay that way! :)
ReplyDeleteOh Mari, I'm so thrilled and excited for you!!! Believe me, this is going to change your life in the most positive way ever. You are definitely going to be thinner before you know it...maybe you could go and talk to your doctor about some anxiety meds or something - you have got to feel comfortable enough to go into your own kitchen. This is a huge major change in your life, don't allow anything to stand in the way of eating properly - it really does matter alot with the band. If all you end up eating are high calorie slider foods or things that aren't going to keep you satisfied, you are not going to be as successful as you want to - but I know you are going to do so well - if you can figure out how to fund your surgery and get it scheduled so quickly, I know you are so strong!! Keep us posted on the preop! xo
ReplyDeleteMari so excited for you! I agree with everthing JRD said. The first few days of the liquid diet can be tough but it gets better. Near the end you will be just so happy to be finally banded
ReplyDeleteI think the preop diet really just gets your mind prepared for changes. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
I am soooo excited, thrilled and just so happy for YOU!!! The liquid diet will suck, but it's a small price to pay for the adventure you're about to have!!
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! Time will fly (though liquids will not be very much fun). You'll be so happy you did it. I hope things get better on the anxiety front. Good luck! We're all here for you :)
ReplyDeleteEveryone eats...I'm sure your flatmates aren't counting how many times you go into the kitchen or what you're doing there. In fact, if you cook extra and share, they'll love you for it!
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the preop diet!
I'm so excited for you starting your pre-op diet...before you know it, you will be a bandster! I also understand your anxiety issues - I have suffered with social anxiety for about 14 years. I will admit that finally deciding to work with a therapist helped me a lot. My anxiety may never go away but I have learned ways to cope with it which makes day to day living easier.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and I'll keep you in my thoughts...
You will do fine and you will be amazed at how you feel after the pre op diet phase! It is only the beginning my dear!
ReplyDeleteOh Sweetie! How wonderful! 2 weeks is not too long. Just hang in there! A positive attitude in the face of adversity is the highest form of courage! You are much stronger than you know! Happiness!
ReplyDeleteCongrats!! Just don't get caught up in making "perfect choices" at every moment of every day. My goal with the Band was to make the best food choice I could make everyday and be proud that I made the best choice available to me. You are gonna do well and you are gonna be a success.
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