Friday 23 September 2011
Big Man
I was talking to my ex boyfriend today (long complicated history), and he was telling me that he has been dieting for the last 3-4 weeks. He's 6'4" with a starting weight of 350lbs ish, now down to about 329lbs. This is great for him and I'm glad he's not finding it too tough (he's never really dieted before). I then thought, I'll just check what his starting BMI was and to my utter HORROR, it was nearly 2 points lower then mine. Now, I'm not saying I wish his was higher, of course not - but what upset me was the fact that so many people that I know talk about his weight and how big he's gotten and how he needs to do something about it or he'll have a heart attack at 50. He openly jokes about his weight, and it's never really bothered him much until recently, so the topic is up for a fair bit of discussion when he's around. So to discover that I am in fact bigger than him really knocked me for six. What it means is that everything everyone thinks about him and his size, saying how enormous he is and how much he must eat to get to that size, they must think of me. And I am even bigger for my height than he is! What must people think of and/or say about me if they think that of him. Even my best friend L talks about him like that all the time - I can only assume that she does see me as that big. And even though I am truly happy for him that he's taking charge of his weight, I am jealous that he seems to be finding it all so easy on his first try when I have struggled for so so long with my weight and am now at my last resort. I wish I had been stronger.
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Whoa ! Wait just one second ! You are a strong young woman making a serious decision to get your health under control. Men, meh ! I swear, they substitute a Big Mac for a salad and they still loose. Keep the faith, Mari ... you're doing great :)
ReplyDeleteChoosing surgery does not make you weak. Him being able to lose weight so quickly doesn't make him strong either. It means he started out at a higher weight than you, so it'll come off more quickly for him. No big deal. You're doing what you have to do to better your health and your life. You should be commended for that. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteI second everything that CeCe said. You have made a very valient decision here to improve your health. Keep your eye on the prize!!
ReplyDeleteI third everything everyone says here! You made a smart, conscious decision to do something healthy for yourself. For YOU...
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!!
I know how you feel, I have felt the same way many times in my life. You have made a pretty giant leap towards getting healthy and fit! You are amazing!! xxx
ReplyDeleteJust an FYI here. Men will always win in weight loss hands down for one scientific reason! They by and large have more lean muscle mass than we do and this means a HIGHER metabolism.
ReplyDeleteThat is why building muscle is so important for women who are trying to lose weight. We have for years through yo-yo dieting killed our metabolisms slowly. To reverse this effect, we must build muscle since it is what will REV UP that sleeping Lion = our metabolism.
I agree you have taken the necessary steps in improving your health and life. You are STRONG in doing that, it is not east to recognize nor accomplish. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Everything everybody above me said.
ReplyDeleteAnd the one thing I have to keep reminding myself of:
This is for me (you) .. This is not a competition, it doesn't matter how much/fast/easy it is for someone else to lose, this is for me.
Just jumping on the wagon here but you are taking control of your health and not to knock him or anything but a couple things: #1: It's easier for men to lose weight and #2: he's just starting! It's always easier in the beginning and always easier on your first try. I forget the stat but it's like only 5% who lose weight "the natural way" will keep it off so odds are he'll gain it back.
ReplyDeleteOutside of all that though, you're doing great and taking great strides to improve your health, your appearance, your weight and your life! You can't let others influence how you feel about you.
I know it's hard to think other people think of you in the same way, but I promise at the least, your good friends don't. None of mine even remember me being 273 lbs. Literally, they see old pre-op pictures and are like, "There's no way you were that size." They see the best possible version of you. :)
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